with your own penis?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
