i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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