piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
