my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just pee around me
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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