I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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