Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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