ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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