waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You are the jesus of drinking
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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