We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
