At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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