If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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