i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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