Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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