My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
