So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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