when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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