He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
