Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Please don't give away my fajitas
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
