I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
and you fell through a lawn chair
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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