I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
