anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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