So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
