There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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