hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
