About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
