clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
