Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just want nice things and good sex
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
