hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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