the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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