I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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