i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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