I am puke
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Is Oprah even human
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
