i just had sex bonerless
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
