I'm really into asian looking animals
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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