I want to stick my p in your. b.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
