For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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