Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
