I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
