cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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