hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
That's intense
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
