He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
