I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I licked your asshole in confidence.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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