Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize