It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
