i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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