I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
