Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
