talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
