tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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