I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
